Back in May, I actually found an old thread on a different website from 2002 created by a woman in a very similar situation as mine, with a WH who was similar, and she was taking the same approach as me (well I guess I am taking the same approach as her), and her H came back after 9 months. Why? He said he missed his life and his home. He was crazy about his baby girl. A month after he came home, she and WH finally kissed. They had another baby 2 years later and in 2008 were still happily married. She didn't post past that year. So his initial motivation was not to return for HER! But he said he never stopped loving her.
Another thought...time and again I have read that the WAS come back due to their own reasons, separate from what we do. HOWEVER I want to believe in Michele's principles; that our behavior can cause others to change their behavior.Enticing and drawing the WAS back by changing ourselves without chasing is one way.
one more...I think that if I were to act the way I am now right after DDay, it wouldn't have made any difference but the reason why I think it MAY make a difference now is b/c of the stage of the affair. But I am observing changes in WH's behavior to determine if it is working...time will tell.
me,34 exH,34 S,16 months S:3/31/09-left for OW started DBing 10/09 d final: sometime 10/10 current: http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2022856&page=1 met in 2004
