He left here at 8pm for his trip to the bar. I cleaned the house, bathed the dog, took out the trash....and sat down. I can breathe easier, I feel like a weight it off my shoulders, and I don't give a crap what he is doing out there tonight. When did this happen to me?? I thought I would be tortured all night about what he was up to, but I am actually more comfortable home without him. Wow.
Ok, so where does this leave us? Well, I guess I realized that I got very uptight about him coming home and wound myself up to the point that I was totally unhappy. I have become weak and insecure in the span of 6 days. Where did my confidence and strength go??? He sucked it right out of me!! LOL!
So, here I am, realizing that life without him is a bit easier than I thought. I think I am going to take some time to think about things. I still want to be married to him, I want to have our family together, I want to sleep next to him for the rest of my life. I also want to be myself... I want to be the new me, the strong, confident me.
He said he saw something in me last Friday when we talked. He said this thing he saw made him want to be here with me. He told me today that thing was strength. He also said he has watched it disappear.
How can I keep the strong, confident me while rebuilding my marriage? Any tips?
Me: 33 / H: 36 M: 10y / T: 14y 3 kids BD: 2/22/14 Live in separation 3/8/14 H consult lawyer, says filing asap 4/24/14 H moved out 4/25/14 2nd time around. 1st separation 4y ago lasted a month
