Can I save my marriage?

[ugetvince]

Brit,
Mine and your situation are very similiar. I have had a couple of different girls ask me out for coffee and I mentioned it to my cousin who them mentioned to waw since then she has asked me some questions that a month ago she want even bothering. coincedence I doubt it

[Lll54]

We do have similar situations. Especially the ages of our kids! Crazy. So sad that at that age their parents are not longer together. Makes me sick. Really. We were planning on extending our family...what...just over 2 years ago? My baby is 20 months old. Pathetic if you ask me. How could you have just brought another human being into this world a year and a half ago, and now be wanting to only see that bundle of joy half time. Ugh. sorry bout the rant

My parents were here this weekend and actually told me that back in April when we were visiting them, I must have been in bed already and H and my parents were visiting and my parents were talking about this young man in town that left his family. My step-mom told me that H's response was, "How could you ever do that to your family? I would go to the end of time to keep my family together. There is no way I could do something like that" Hmmmmm....he just said this comment 7 months ago? What could possibly change in seven months. Strange

So I mentioned that MC wants me to sit down and talk to H about the sitch, cause I'm walking on eggshells, and there is no way we will be able to rebuild our marriage and make it a healthy one if continue in the path I'm taking....I want to keep DB'ing really, it seems to keep him around, but how long do you wait? Sometimes I think H is too scared to bring up R. The other night when he sat on my couch and said how much he missed home, it was like he was waiting for me to say something. When do you take an open invitation to reciprocate?

[ugetvince]

Im not sure..If you look at my sitch my w kind of opened a couple of weeks ago after I had surgery but when I thought there might be an opening apparently I pushed to far. Know there is minamal communication except about the kids.
Today is my Daughters first birthday and my heart is breaking that im not with her and spending time with her. Ive always been a very hands on Father and i just called to say Hello to her and I feel so crappy I dont what do??

[Gnosis]

Britt, you keep doing what you've been doing. It's working. Don't change tack now and rock the boat.

Vince, I'll pop by your thread tomorrow and have a look-see... A tip for you if you want more people to read over is to comment on other people's threads (like you've done here)

[ugetvince]

Thanks for the tip ... Didnt know that?

[Lll54]

Vince, you called...and that's pretty much all you can do. She is only one and yes as much as you will remember that you weren't there, she will not. Try to think of it that way. You have many more birthdays to be with her, its just the sitch.

[PainfulDusk]

Hey britt..thx for stopping by my thread. LOL I baked 9 pies today. Maybe overkill, but I didnt know what I wanted to bake so I baked several.

nice to have a secret admirer and the timing has helped. Got ur H attn didnt it? lol. Keep up the mystery. =)

Dusk

[Puppy Dog Tails]

Britt, you keep doing what you've been doing. It's working. Don't change tack now and rock the boat.

Ditto.

I reject your counselor's premise: "no pursuing/no R talks" doesn't have to equal "walking on eggshells." In fact, if anything, the detachment should STRENGTHEN you, and how you interact with your husband.

Puppy

[Lll54]

Well H got over the "flower" thing quite quickly. About 10:00 last night there was a knock at the door. I went to answer it and it was H. Hmmm. In seven weeks he has yet to stop in on his night shift. He is a police man, so being in his car all night he said he needed the washroom. He went, then wandered to the kitchen, looked in the pantry for a snack, looked in the fridge but nothing. I made cookies last evening so I offered him some cookies, he accepted. Flirted a bit and then went back to work. Hmmm...so did he really have to pee, or did he come to check up on me after I received those flowers, or did he just need to see me? The guy was cold in conversation yesterday but then show up at my doorstep? Good thing though is he knocked for the first time. Looks like my boundary setting is SLOWLY coming around.

[Lll54]

Puppy, you're right. I'm not going to say anything. But if H ever gives me reason to believe he is trying to talk about coming home, which I felt like he was going friday night, what do I do? What do I say?