Save my marriage to w she is moving on

[givingitmyall]

I continue on trying to detach. Somedays i feel like Im making progress some days and others still wondering what has happened. I know that i CAN only work on myself but I do hope that she is going to counseling. I ran into a friend of hers that she has known since she was 12. She asked how things were going and then told me as long as shes known my w she's never been happy. It was intresting to her that from someone close to her?

Understand your concern, but, this is HER issue. It affects you, but she has to want to go to C.

Focus on yourself. What are you doing in that area?

How would you describe your W - happy or unhappy - before the bomb?

[Lll54]

Isn't it funny how now that there is a separation, people start opening up about our S's? I have had a few friends also tell me what they think about my H. It definitely is interesting to hear what people see in my H that I don't.

[ugetvince]

Its been almost two months since w dropped the bomb. Not much has changed in regards to our marriage. I think ive changed mentally and physically but still have lots of regrets and questions. Its been about two weeks since my surgery everything has come back a okay. Ive lost 29 pds so far! Yee-haw..Working out still sucks.

Im not sure if anything I do is working for our marriage. We only speak about the kids and even that is usually via text or very casually conversation. Im trying to work on 180's but when you dont see or talk to that person extremelly difficult.

Ive read lots of other post and its remarkable how identical peoples stories are. I wish some days I could turn back the clock and change the past. Then there are other days I think who has this person(w)become?

Does anyone find it strange that we have a 1 year old and a 3 year old and that on weekends like this past weekend. She doesnt call to say hello to her kids or even bother to check in to see how there doing. When i dont have them I always call to say hello to my son. Just a quick I love you buddy see you tommorrow.

Tommorrow is my d 1st birthday and she will be with her Mother. Its brings tears to my eyes to know I wont be with her on her 1st b-day. I dont know why my life has to be this way? Im planning a joint party for her and my son a week from Saturday. on my weekend.

I continue to go to counseling and sessions are going well. Feel like im making progress on opening up and working on me and things I want to correct and be better at.

One last thing I feel like my w is still so angry like I told her to leave or made her do this? She was the one that walked out! But she never seems happy with her decsion or maybe thats all I see? Not sure...

[ugetvince]

Waw asked me yesterday about my health issues and I wasnt sure how to respond. She says all that i want to talk about is the kids. I didnt know what to say I feel so uncomfortable. I said something like im not sure what info you want? I told her that its difficult to have a concversation when everything is done via text.
We ended up discussing issues about the kids. Our soon moved into his own big boy bed at my house and I wanted to give her the heads up so that hopefully she could make the same changes at her house.
I know that Im should be showing this nice positive personality 24/7 but how do you do that when you havent spoken to someone in basically two months. Its a really strange time.

[ugetvince]

Hey guys and girls and advise on latest situatio waw?

[ugetvince]

Hey what do all the db's out ther think. Im scheduled to pick up the kids tomoorow at 9:00 am. Do you think I should offer for her to keep the kids a little longer around 2:00 so she can spend time with them on Thaskgiving? Or is that just a way of pursuing?

[Lll54]

I too have been in this for just under two months. At the beginning my H didn't call either to talk to the kids. It was sad. It was so hard to understand how a person who sees their children everyday, kisses them good night every night, could just go a few days without even talking to them. It was incredible. But its not our job to try to understand how they are feeling. I don't think we can. My sitch is changing a bit, so I have more contact with H now, almost daily. But he still doesn't ask to talk to the kids, we have contact really for the sake of talking. Its sad. I always offer though. When H calls, I always ask if he wants to talk to S3. Pathetic. I can't get inside of his brain, and won't try. I don't look at it as he is a bad father, cause he is an awesome daddy. I just think he has some issues right now, and its unexplainable, just cross my fingers it changes one day.

[ugetvince]

Everday I wonder the same thing. A mother in this sitch that seems very content with only seeing the kids half the time. I would have never thought that.
I know I cant try to figure out what she is thinking. I only try to continue to work on me.
I dont think I will ever understand. people keep telling me she just couldnt handle it. i should just move on.. I have so much to offer and its her loss. but i stuggle everyday to see that.

[Lll54]

As a mother, and having such a close connection and bond with my children it is very hard to understand. I don't want to say its easier when there is a WAH, but it almost is. A mother has that special bond with her children, I feel its not as common for the woman to leave. But it happens, my mother left my father without us. My father raised us most our lives. It happens. They definitely have issues that only they can choose to work on. Until that happens, we work on ourselves and be with our babies.

[ugetvince]

thanks Britt ill try to say strong....Im gaining more confidence day to day! i used to think i was so powerful and confident ive striving to find that....