When I first started counseling a few months after he left she focused on the basics.
If it hurt to see him, talk on the phone. If talking on the phone was too difficult, use email. If email sent me over the edge, read it, close it. Look at it later. Wait 24 to 48 hours before responding. I would read the email to my brother to understand what it meant because I was such an emotional wreck (and recovering from a significant head injury).
If it feels absolutely right, do it. If it feels wrong, don't. If you can't decide or keep waffling, don't.
Gypsy, I wanted to thank you this. I came across this advice at a time I really needed & I just wanted to let you know how it helped me gain some clarity. Your whole post here is wonderful too. Since it's Thanksgiving, let me thank you!
And thanks to everyone here in the DB family. I am sorry for your pain, but the counsel, support, encouragement & even scolding I find here is a total Godsend. I don't think I can adequately express how much having this outlet is a support system for me. Thank you each & every one!
I too, am dreading the holidays. But with the help of you good people (and don't miss Coach's excellent thread on getting through the holidays), I get encouragement & don't feel so alone in this. Peace and good wishes to all.
