ssmguy...it is not really about the he-man shoving me up against a wall. It is about his attitude that I am his, and therefore he can take me without my permission.
In our sex life, yes we have a high amount of fantasy play and we are all over the map as far as who dominates who, who behaves submissively, we play games like this regularly. But this is a side point to the point I was making.
Even if our sex life didn't include the type of dominate fantasy play you are talking about, he would still have the attitude I am trying to describe to you, and its his attitude that allows me to feel my sexual attraction toward him.
For instance, you said: "As for feeling that sex is scarce, in my experience, it's been more of a case of feeling that appropriate sex is scarce. Appropriate in the sense that I'm not leading a woman on just to have sex. I've had plenty of women come on to me at work and elsewhere, but acting on those situations would likely have ended up with more trouble than they were worth. Perhaps unlike some alpha males, when a pretty young intern comes on to me, I feel flattered, but also scared about the trouble it might result in if I act on it."
You see, the women coming on to you at work are not YOUR woman. Therefore, taking any of them up on their offers is not relavant to the point I am making. I am making a point about the alpha male and him making use of what is rightfully HIS.
Inappropriate sex is outside of this equation.
You are certainly painting a picture that sex is scare in your MARRIAGE, where it should rightfully not be scarce. Outside your marriage is not what is at debate, as far as I am concerned. And a man who goes outside his marriage is not exhibiting alpha male traits, just to make that clear. What he should do instead is insist upon a good sex life within his marriage and then take the steps necessary to make that happen.
It may take saying to your wife "I'm eventually going to leave if it doesn't happen". It does take a serious talk like that in many people's cases. But this is a risk the alpha male will take, because he will put his sexual life in the right place no matter how that has to happen. He will take charge and control of making it happen.
You said: "I'm curious, have you ever told your husband what you wrote here with regard to what you like? Or did your interactions just develop naturally over time, as each of you saw what worked for the other? I don't think you give enough recognition to the fact that he behaves this way because he knows you like it. I'm sure he's not insensitive to that."
Of course he knows I like his attitude but once again, he had this attitude when I met him. He's had it all his sexual life as far as I can tell from his stories. Its because he HAS this attitude that I am attracted. He doesn't do it just to attract me, or it would not work, and I would have sniffed that out while still dating him.
