trying hard to figure things out

[twistfigure]

After an enormous amount of problems and stress I finally closed on my home Friday and moved in Saturday. This is the first time I have ever lived on my own and I am so lonely. I know that's it's going to be good for me in the end but it is hard and scary right now. It's very hard not to contact my H right now so I am going to try to go dark and see what happens. Worst case scenerio is he doesn't contact me then I will know it's really over right.

It's so weird though because it's only been four months and obviously I am not in a position to start dating. Even if I were in a position to I do not want another relationship for a long time. Recently I have been getting hit on left and right and it feels very odd. I have felt so ugly and fat for so long so at first I was like what the F is wrong with these guys. Now it's given me a little confidence and it feels so good. I'm losing weight and I've gone blonde- hey they do have more fun right ??? Well thanks to everyone for your kind words and have a Happy Thanksgiving !