He wants to come home....HELP!

[Gardener]

praying,
I'm chiming in late here with words similar to those you've already heard

Ok, well, I have already screwed it up.

Not a tragedy. Forgive yourself, dust yourself off and keep going, sure.
Except this:

I just couldn't stop it.

Is not true. You didn't stop it. You wouldn't stop it. You chose not to stop it. You could've stopped it. You can stop it.
I'd suggest thinking about this and working on it (I know, I know: one more friggin thing to add to this DB list. I understand).

Happy Thanksgiving.