Hope you're spending Thanksgiving with your son. I am headed back up your way to be with the in-laws. I'll think of you and smile while on the Merritt.
You can think of me, then, at exit 40A&B. I'm about three miles north (left) of there.
Interestingly, I read recently that one of John Lennon's favorite things to do when he just wanted to think, was to rent a car and drive himself the entire length of the Merritt Parkway and back because it was so beautiful and serene.
Yes, I will be with son on Thanksgiving, my brother, SIL and two nephews. Stepson was going to come. I doubt it now. He is supposedly angry or upset at me (or so STBXW stated). I've sent 1 Voice mail, 2 emails and 2 FB comments. No reply (details on my 11/22. 9:45 pm post, if you're interested). This is very uncharacteristicunheard of from him, behavior-wise.
Happy Thanksgiving to you.
Gardener
"My soul, be satisfied with flowers, With fruit, with weeds even; but gather them In the one garden you may call your own." Cyrano deBergerac
Hope you're spending Thanksgiving with your son. I am headed back up your way to be with the in-laws. I'll think of you and smile while on the Merritt.
You can think of me, then, at exit 40A&B. I'm about three miles north (left) of there.
Interestingly, I read recently that one of John Lennon's favorite things to do when he just wanted to think, was to rent a car and drive himself the entire length of the Merritt Parkway and back because it was so beautiful and serene.
It is beautiful, my favorite part of the drive, by far. I am a tad bit anxious about when we should leave and howwe should go. I have some not-so-fond memories of trying to get to the GW bridge when S9 was a baby and actually having to get him out of the carseat and nurse him because we were literally sitting still for a full hour and he was screaming his lungs out from hunger. Maybe Tappan Zee tomorrow/Thursday???
Originally Posted By: Gardener
Yes, I will be with son on Thanksgiving, my brother, SIL and two nephews. Stepson was going to come. I doubt it now. He is supposedly angry or upset at me (or so STBXW stated). I've sent 1 Voice mail, 2 emails and 2 FB comments. No reply (details on my 11/22. 9:45 pm post, if you're interested). This is very uncharacteristicunheard of from him, behavior-wise.
Glad to hear it. I did read about your SS. He will come around in his own time, but you know that already, G!
Originally Posted By: Gardener
Happy Thanksgiving to you.
And to you, dear friend.
BIM M 39 / H 40 / S 9 / S 6 / T 20 / M 11
my sitch: http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=1828127#Post1828127
This is a sticky time for all in-laws and stepchildren, even those of a beautifully blended family. Give it a year for everything to settle.
It's not rejection, it's just the ripple effect of the disruption of divorce. Last year the kids and I had Thanksgiving dinner together, just the four of us. I was a wreck. Normally we'd be with the former spouse's family. I was worried about being shunned, my kids forgotten.
This year we're going to be up there to celebrate. My former spouse choses not to be there.
You are all heart, G'Man. Give them space. This is a tough time for them, too. Let them know you care that your door is open at any time, then drop it. John210 lets his stepdaughters initiate time together.
There's enough drama going on with two divorces going on in your family. Focus on those who turn to you. And be calm in you. Meditate. Be centered. Hush that monkey brain.
And do me a favor. Next time you light up, whack your head with as shovel for me.
*hugs*
Stop trying to force the family you had. Recognize the new boundaries and set some for yourself. Your son needs a calm place, someone to LISTEN.
Read up on emotional triangles and avoid them. Case in point was the TV your divorcing wife offered to you which you thought she'd offer to your son. When it didn't happen you felt betrayed. Focus instead that she and her son came to see her stepson in the play, which is far more important than a TV.
This is a really rough time. It IS the time to have a 'divorcing spouse free day' where you don't think about her, don't communicate.. just give yourself a day off. I used to do that and found it wonderful.
G-Woman, Thank you for the usual excellent advice, suggestions and support. You always nail it.
"Hush that monkey brain," eh? Very good. I've heard it called Mindchatter, Mitote, Dukkha, Maya. But Monkey brain?
Re: StepS, after my vmails, emails, fbmails, etc. my inclination was/is to wait. Next move his. Otherwise, I'm pursuing him. I was/am uncomfortable with the how long it will take part. We'll see. We'll see.
And, yeah despite looming D and the events of the last year, I am "trying to force the family (I) had". Avoiding grieving its loss, I guess.
And thanks for the reminder on the divorcing-spouse-free-day. I used to do that, too. Haven't in a while.
Gardener
"My soul, be satisfied with flowers, With fruit, with weeds even; but gather them In the one garden you may call your own." Cyrano deBergerac
"Hush that monkey brain," eh? Very good. I've heard it called Mindchatter, Mitote, Dukkha, Maya. But Monkey brain?
I call it the "crazymaking part" of the brain, personally. I'm thinking of calling it "Kev", though...
Me: 44, Wife: 39 M: 17 years T: 20 years Bomb on 08/25/09 1/13/10: MC started 1/28/10, 2/8/10: More bombs 8/28/10: Wife moved out No talk of D, no movement
Well, I spent my evening mostly on my arse. Had a pizza. Made a batch of chocolate chip cookies. Ate almost all of 'em. Just finished watching a PBS special on Erma Bombeck.
So how many of you are green with jealousy over Gardener's exciting night?
Happy Thanksgiving to you all!
Gardener
"My soul, be satisfied with flowers, With fruit, with weeds even; but gather them In the one garden you may call your own." Cyrano deBergerac
Well, I spent my evening mostly on my arse. Had a pizza. Made a batch of chocolate chip cookies. Ate almost all of 'em. Just finished watching a PBS special on Erma Bombeck.
So how many of you are green with jealousy over Gardener's exciting night?
Ate almost all of 'em. 
