Sorry need some more advise. Background Things have changed dramatically this last few days. I was told with relative certainty that I have Cancer. On the same day found out my dads cancer has gotten worse and that my uncle is in the hospital battling the same cancer. On Friday I found out a friend of mine lost her battle with cancer. Not a good week.
So a little journaling...I don’t want to go blow for blow so here is a summary. W was furious when she found out through friends i was going out on Friday and didn’t tell her. W says she is going out Sat night just so I know and the phone conversation ends. I really wasn’t going out but said I really could use a drink to a friend. Get home and W asks to speak to me. W says she was mad that I was telling a friend earlier in the week about additional details of my cancer possibility (Conversation was in our house with my W present). W said why didn’t I tell her first about those details? I said b/c she didn’t seem like she cared to know. She didn’t make time between when I learned of it and that evening. Reason for her being mad was she says she thought we would have Friday night to talk about my Dr stuff since we didn’t do it during the week. So she was surprised to learn I was going out. W said she didn’t want me going out this particular friend as he is spreading rumors that my wife is a run around. This other family is going through D along with us. Said she didn’t care if I went out just not with this person. Said in a lot of words that she worked hard for her reputation and it is being ruined by lies. W said she was trying to distance herself from that family. I went out Friday night and did meet this friend. W had my friends W over and their kids. Friend and kids stayed the night at the house with W and friend sleeping together. Very odd.
Sat rolls around and W tells me she is going to a women’s separation group at someones house to watch a movie and do pot luck. Goes with desert in hand dressed pretty nicely. Comes home at 2:30 AM. Seems to be my W magic pumpkin time as not matter what she is doing it ends up being 2AM or later. Kinda bizarre but usual for W of late. W opens up Sunday and tells me she has some real problems emotionally/mentally with her mom and her family and needs help. Her issues are many with her mom and she keeps reaching out for her help and nothing comes just more pain.
Monday I get results from DR on secondary test for Cancer and they say 1 more test to confirm it is not X is needed before a course of action can be made. I relate this to W on phone as she asked to know. I tell her and she say OK got to go. See her later before her school and she says nothing. See W next morning and she says she had a bad nite. Person she was with at school had to put her cat down in the last two weeks so it was a hard sad night for her. OMG. Hard night for her!!!!! A friggin cat! I knew I didn’t want to tell her anything about what I was going through as it would be just a real pain in the a$$. Sorry done with venting.
Here is where I can use advise…. I am hitting the wall with some emotions lately in trying to deal with all the crap. I know I will be fine b/c God will take care of me. But it is a lot of emotion on my plate. W seems to be hitting anxiety spells again and quite often. She is napping constantly. One minute nice to me and the next mean. We have hugged a few times when she was melting down when explaining issues with me about us or her family. She is sharing intimate details/issues with me and I am a good listener but do not provide answers. I am not sure what she is doing by telling me these things. Very odd. I have come to not expect anything and don’t wait for anything. I am just not sure if I should continue to be there for her. She said she has no one she trusts to share these things with. But I am not sure if I should be that person either. I am just confused and cant really think straight right now.
