If we get into a legal hassle over money, H will become the pettiest petty person in pettyville. That is the main reason why I even considered letting him hose me over financially. I'd rather have a civil relationship over money.
If we get into a legal hassle over money, H will become the pettiest petty person in pettyville. That is the main reason why I even considered letting him hose me over financially. I'd rather have a civil relationship over money.
Yeah, but you can give up the money now and still end up not having a civil relationship.
The court can enforce child/spousal support, they can't make him be nice to you.
Me: 44, Wife: 39 M: 17 years T: 20 years Bomb on 08/25/09 1/13/10: MC started 1/28/10, 2/8/10: More bombs 8/28/10: Wife moved out No talk of D, no movement
Guess what? If you let him hose you over he still isn't goin gto be civil! I guess I'm just repeating what Trent said, in case you weren't listening! The only thing that will result from you letting him hose you over is you getting hosed over.
This is hard, I know. Please go see an atty as soon as possible. Do not waive your rights to counsel. Do not speak to him about anything legal and do not let his threats of filing a contested D scare you and do things "his way".
Do a Google search in your area for attnys that are very specialized in contested divorces and custody issues. Look for reviews by former clients and use the public record as a tool. Interview as many attnys to rep you until you find the right one.
This is where you will need to separate your emotions and your logic. As a citizen of this country you have every right to obtain legal counsel for ANY legal matter. Let your WAS babble all he wants about what he wants.
When my H filed, I really believed he thought I would just accept the terms and sign the papers. By the way, I know that feeling of seeing your names on those papers. It's sure tugs at your heart doesn't it. The H you loved, and the H who loved you now wants a D. So, when I retained an attorney and everything was put into writing of what I was entitled to, he had a major meltdown. The day he received my response, he pulled all his clothes out of the master closet, and all his toiletries out of the master bathroom. He did leave his ring on the closet shelf however. He forgot the fact he had ow for over a year by then. Like I had no reason to be upset but he did!
My advice is to protect yourself at this time. They are into themselves, and can be so selfish. I don't want a D, but I also don't want to be left out in the cold either. I'm only going along for the legality part.
I also gave GOD complete control over our M. I have managed to come through the last year with the STRENGTH I have gained along the way. I have weakened somewhat with the Dec 11th hearing coming up, but this is when I've stepped up my praying. Also, I've continued to treat him in the way GOD would want me to. It's hard believe me.
The only thing I'm scared of is the OMG I'm going to be single with 4 kids.
You can handle it. Use your gifts, resources, talents, friends, family and faith.
Cheers
M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12 Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
