Counseling conundrums

[Gardener]

Bunny,
Sounds okay to me except for a few IMHOs.

Thanksgiving tomorrow; I get the keys, tell H and the kids, and pack on Friday; movers come Saturday.

Consider not telling the kids on Thanksgiving Day.I'd wait 'til Friday and just hustle faster to make up the time. Also, gives H less "react time".

Proposed discussion with H:

H, did you put anything into your "secret account" other than the distributions you received from your Dad’s estate?
H’s answer.
Well, since you already took that out of the joint account, I removed half of the balance of our savings and checking, and put it into my own account.

I don't know if I'd lead with this. Work it in, sure, but start here:

I've done a lot of thinking about our discussion last month, and I have decided a separation is the best thing right now. I decided to go ahead and get the apartment- I signed the lease already, and I’m moving out this weekend. I'll put together some numbers and separation proposals together re: kids, Christmas, money - so we can discuss how we want to work this. Here’s what I’m planning on taking tomorrow:

Proposed discussion with kids, I’m hoping to do this alone:

This is fine, except for the legalese "custody" "joint" "arrangement" use neutral, family-ish sounding words. And, yes, in your sitch, do it alone. Insist on doing it alone! If H butts in and will not respect alone time then tell him that he, like kids remains silent "while I say what I need to say."

Do you think you might need someone hovering nearby in neighborhood should H's reaction be over the top?

Good luck, you strong, brave Bunny, you. Many, many people will be thinking of you, praying and sending you positive thoughts that day, whichever day it turns out to be (tell us when you make final decision on that). Tap into all those prayers, thoughts, and friends - you'll feel them.