Is there something different/more I should be doing re: the contact issue?
Yes, no contact. She's like a drug to him, only a little bit won't hurt right? Would your respect him if the roles were reversed?
How do you enforce it? - transparency. Access to phones, e-mail, schedules, accountability and honesty. Trust but verify.
Boundaries are about behavior, what behaviors are unacceptable to you? What you are communicating to him without a no-contact boundary is that he can have her and you. He is not in the mindset to stop, so you must lead. If you don't state the boundary the chances of this happening again are great. It is a very loving gesture to you and him to state the boundary.
You can handle it.
M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12 Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
