Hi June, Thanks for the suggestion! Unfortunately I am in quite a rural area, have checked it out but not much available to me.
As an update to my sitch: H came home last night and told me he started doing his own research on addictive relationships/A's etc. based on our conversation from a few days ago. Said this research led him to look further into personality disorders and codependency. H very painfully admitted to me that he is realizing OW is not mentallly or emotionally healthy (What? I'm shocked! ) and that he may have codependency issues (his dad is an alcoholic) that have gone unaddressed all his life, which explains why he was drawn to her, as well as why a lot of people in his life have used/betrayed him etc. except me, of course.
Some of these things I have been trying to tell him for years, but he feels it took this crisis for him to be able to see it and get it.
This is, obviously, potentially HUGE progress....
BUT..... he still loooooooooooves her He doesn't want to believe this is true, it was so amaaaaazing in the beginning... he thought she was everything he could ever want, blah, blah, blah... But, he admits now that she has been extremely manipulative, intimidating, and even abusive to him. This man I've known, loved and admired all these years has been reduced to a puppet with a 23 yr. old flakepot pulling the strings.
He is willing now to seek help for all of this, to take a hard look at it (even though he says it feels like it rips his guts out because he feels the codependency with her took a very deep hold) and is working on taking responsibility.
This is all good, right? Potentially?
The hard part is, that because of her (potential) unstable mental and emotional state, he is very fearful to provoke her in any way and is therefore still not willing to cut things off. Is still hoping she will... What do I do with that?
Unfortunately I am in quite a rural area, have checked it out but not much available to me.
) and that he may have codependency issues (his dad is an alcoholic) that have gone unaddressed all his life, which explains why he was drawn to her, as well as why a lot of people in his life have used/betrayed him etc. except me, of course.
