How are things at our place Gima? I know it looked like you were doing pretty well, got told nothing changed, started to back off and she agreed to MC. How are things between the two of you now?
Honestly, I don't know. We are selecting a MC from our respective lists. I wish I could tell you I felt better about the chance of our M working out based on her agreeing to MC'ing, but I can't.
What I can say is that no matter what happens, I know I'll be better off b/c either (a) we work on making our M what it should have been all along or (b) I will find happiness with whatever the rest of my life holds - I have my kids, I have my health, I will be alone, but not lonely, I will probably meet someone with whom I can be happier than I have ever been (NOT someone to MAKE me happy).
I see the rest of my life as a journey. Where that leads, I don't know. But I know I will continue to learn about myself and others with a much different lens now. It's a bit scary and exciting at the same time.
I don't want to be D'd, but I am tired of auditioning for the part of my W's H and tired of trying to convince someone to love me. You see how unhealthy that is? If my W doesn't want to love me, then I don't want her. I deserve (we all do) better.
So what do you need to do to get there? I promise you it is much better than where I was. I may not like what's happening, but I feel in control.
