Hope and heartache

[ClingingToHope]

Had my last Marriage Rebuilders class last night. I started the classes four months ago and was a complete mess at the beginning. Last night's topic was forgiveness, which I'm really going to struggle with if W follows through on the D without giving me a second chance in the M.

I did not have a lot in common with the people at the table other than we all had failed marriages. There were 10 of us and seven already had gone through one divorce and are going through a second.

At the end, one of the ladies said the best part of the series was watching my personal growth. I deflected it by saying I still haven't actually gone through the D process and I'm not sure how I'll handle it, but then I thanked her. I remembered I do not show enough appreciation.

Short conversation with D last night. She hired a babysitter for the day since the girls are off and we both have to work. It's a daughter of a high school classmate of mine. I'm not sure if she was looking for me to volunteer to pay. My L said traditionally I should pay half, but I'm also likely overpaying on child support now and since nothing is official it's up to me. I did not offer to pay and she didn't ask.

Tonight I'm having dinner with a friend and going to a small concert with a group. I'm actually feeling like I'm overdoing it a bit. I went out last night after the Rebuilders class and am looking forward to just going to sleep early Friday night.