About 2 years ago I was WAH. No affair. I was 'done'. W was unaware of the crisis and I never told anyone what I was going through. Today is the first time this knowledge has ever been 'exposed'. Used the excuse of looking for a job outside the country to justify.
Away for total 4 months while I sorted out my crap. Took me 7 weeks to realize how much I loved my W. Brought her over and spent 6 wonderful weeks on a 'second honeymoon' in the mid-period.
About 6 months ago W declares she wants space. If I push her she is done and wants out.
Panicked, begged, pleaded etc until I clicked.
Hurt like hell. Went dark. Let go. Licked my wounds.
'found myself' and started planning strategies and tactics on winning her back (difficult to do when you're 1000's of miles away)
Moved back home (five weeks now) to the ice-queen.
Trickle feeding in my 180's so as not to scare the cat.
My tactics are beginning to thaw through the ice.
I've never been denied access to the marital bed but have been denied intimacy. I've made many mistakes in my M, but so has she. Right now I'm detached enough to look at things objectively and working through 'communicating'.
I got that, 'So you're back. Nothing's changed. I still want out' speech. I haven't let it phase me. It's a constant battle. I don't look for 'signs' of improvement and try not to read her mind. So, what am I doing? Pushing her jealousy buttons discreetly. Working on her LL's. I think she is starting to see the man she fell in love but I don't read too much into it.
However, as time goes by I'm starting to question my own needs and reflecting on my wants. I'm building myself into a position of 'power' so I can make a rational decision and not an emotional one. I'm pretty well versed in 'girl-fu' and have a pretty good idea of what works and doesn't with women. Not to say that I don't screw up... because I do. I have passive-aggressive tendencies and need to constantly keep myself in check because they don't work in my sitch.
Like I said, it's complicated. There are a lot of details I've skipped.
M:11 | T:12 | Status: Married 4C's of WAS communication: Cool, Calm, Collected and CONFIDENT
