So my question to all of you is, should I let H know that I no longer need to live by the CS rules? This would certainly fall under a R talk. Give me your opinions/advice please.
I don't think this is R talk. Some may disagree, but R talk to me is talking about how you and H will get back together, where you are (temperature taking), and similar discussions. What you are talking about doesn't seem to me to be R talk. Coach has helped me understand this concept, b/c for a long time I thought any talk involving the M was, by definition, R talk.
So, I don't think there is anything wrong with you telling him you will no longer be living by the agreement. In fact, I think it shows strength and "leading" - another conept Coach has taught me.
When you have this discussion, I would be prepared for H to push it into talk about the M - especially if your change means you will be dating. I would simply tell him he knows where you stand, that you prefer to work on the M, but that is not your choice, it's his. You can't make him do anything, nor will you try. This places the decision back where it belongs - with HIM. Remember, this is HIS decision.
Focus on what you can control - which is only you. You cannot control what he decides/does.
