The countdown has started. Thanksgiving tomorrow; I get the keys, tell H and the kids, and pack on Friday; movers come Saturday. I'm trying to stay calm.
Proposed discussion with H:
H, did you put anything into your "secret account" other than the distributions you received from your Dad’s estate? H’s answer. Well, since you already took that out of the joint account, I removed half of the balance of our savings and checking, and put it into my own account. I've done a lot of thinking about our discussion last month, and I have decided a separation is the best thing right now. I decided to go ahead and get the apartment- I signed the lease already, and I’m moving out this weekend. I'll put together some numbers and separation proposals together re: kids, Christmas, money - so we can discuss how we want to work this. Here’s what I’m planning on taking tomorrow: Oh, here are the tickets for the show on Tuesday. If you want, we can work it as a "date" for us because I wouldn't mind seeing the show, or if you would rather and I understand if you prefer this, you could take D or your sister. I do want you to go and enjoy yourself, so however you want to arrange it is fine with me.
Proposed discussion with kids, I’m hoping to do this alone:
Dad and I have been trying to work out some issues that we’ve been having in our marriage. We tried marriage counseling this fall to learn some healthier ways of communicating and dealing with our issues, and we have had a lot of discussions about things. We still have some serious issues that we just can’t resolve, and as a result, I decided that a separation is the best thing for us right now. I have an apartment at _______, and I am moving out this weekend. Dad and I are still talking about how we want to set up the custody arrangements for D because we want to work out a joint arrangement. S- you’re an adult and free to make your own decisions. I want you both to remember that Dad and I love you both dearly and we are both wanting to spend time with each of you. I need to make some furniture arrangements for your room at the apartment, it will be ready for you in just a day or two. Do you have any questions right now? Or if you have any later, grab me and we’ll talk.
