I have to say that I can totally understand why you are going along with this "controlled sep", but ask yourself: do you deserve this? no, you don't. and just the fact that he is even suggesting seeing other people (married people DO NOT "see" other people) tells me something is up. YOU DON'T DESERVE THIS!! in DB speak, this is cake-eating. He can't have it both ways and you do not need to tolerate it. You are scared and that in my opinion is why you agreed to this "contract". in your heart, I am sure you know it's total bs. Puppy (a frequent person on this site) I am SURE will tell you that there is probably an affair or at least someone he would like to pursue (puppy, don't be mad if I am pegging this wrong!). my ex h said the same things to me, there was no one else, blah, blah. well, sure enough, not only was there someone else, but it was someone he had been pursuing for over 6 months!! I'm not trying to scare or upset you, but the truth will eventually set you free as hard as it it. and there is a light at the end of this. I am living proof. PLEASE re-read the books (Divorce busting) and do LRT and GAL FOR YOU!! You are worth it and REGARDLESS of what your h decides YOU can create a great life for YOURSELF. KNow this. I realize this is agony right now, I've been through it as all of us have here. REad stories on this site to keep you going. It really helps. Use this site to journal, vent, ask questions. You are not alone. I'm glad you are going into therapy and posssibly mc, but the point is, and this is the hardest thing, you cannot force or change another's mind. only your actions and SHOWING that you are strong and FINE no matter what HE decides is the answer here.
