The points from reading up on cognitive dissonance are, first, to show you the conflict in yor H's mind might be playing out and, two, to show you how negative absolutes (always, never, etc.) Can produce megative thoughts and emotions.
Also, cognitive dissonance is going on within you (and us), based on your on thoughts/beliefs such as H is the ONLY person with whom I can be happy. If you can change your thought, your emotions will follow.
Cognitive distortion is what happens when a person uses a version of negative absolutes (or other mechanisms listed on the cog diss link I posted) to rationalize (even justify) an unreasonable belief.
In the end, when I read up on this stuff, I saw a lot of my W, and ME, in these concepts. And its helped me change my emotions from bad to good by properly adjusting my thoughts to reasonable ones.
