Question

[awest1217]

I think why this is hitting me so hard now is because H is starting to pull closer, which is good, but it has got me thinking about the next phase and I need to be prepared ahead of time. I need to think about what I want in my relationship and how I want to be treated and I just don't know...I am still in between on if H is starting to stop talking to OW as much or if she is spending the night. I really don't know. I can't trust him and that bothers me. I know with everything we have gone through it is going to take a really long time for trust to be re-established, but at the same time, he has to be willing to do certain things so that I can start seeing that he is telling the truth.

I still just don't know. I am very jumbled up right now. I need to figure out what I want and just stick to it when the time comes. I just don't know when that will be. Right now I am still doing well being nice to H and having fun. We have been talking more and more which is awesome, and not just about us, but about work and other fun stuff. It is really nice, but scary at the same time.

At least at work, today is the last day of the week and I am giving my first tests to my students. It will be somewhat relaxing because I don't have to teach and constantly keep the students attention, especially with a long weekend a few hours away!