We did end up going the Controlled separation route. I was not sure what to do. I have the option to terminate it at any time. We set it up for 6 months. The thing is, we have had sex twice since deciding this. We outlined it all in the contract. Am i a idiot to be doing this w/ him? We also outlined that dating outside is OK for both (i do not plan to, and H says that he is not actively going to pursue anyone but in the event he meets someone and wants to start a "friendship" and see how he feels). I do not like it at all, but since doing this, he seems to question the D more...he keeps asking me "what does this mean" or "can i buy you flowers or chocolates without you reading into it?"... I am really happy that he agreed to see a therapist. Actually, i told him I was going to see one, and he asked if he could see her too. I told him i had a good referral for a guy (who specializes in mens issues and MLC), so i really hope he goes! that would be great.
I am going to give this CS a shot... it at least has put the D idea on the back burner. I dont know what else to do. We are forced to live in the same house and will likely do so for a few months until it sells as we are both totally strapped financially.
I know it sounds like H is having an affair, but i really do not believe he is. He promised that he would never "cheat" unless i allowed it (does this make sense?). So, technically, I am now allowing it. I wonder if he will feel the urge still to pursue anyone outside the M.
I am going to individual counseling also starting in a few days... i certainly feel so worn down by all of this, i am not sleeping and not really eating, so i think outside help is certainly required.
