Jstar, What is your plan to set a boundary about the birth? I do think that your choices do need to be about you, and that your focus needs to be you and your kids... but I feel like this isnt your typical db situation.

And Sandy is right, if your daughter is being cared for poorly by H's mother, why are keeping her there! And your asking his MOTHER to change, not him.

You said that you were separated before, what changed the situation that time?

I guess I gave the wrong finger to the wrong man...