It continues to be so hard living together with the D in process. My emotions continuously go from sad to mad. Sad for the loving M we had before H had MLC. Sad when I get to thinking of all the awesome memories we shared together. Sad that it is about to come to an end. Sad H is throwing us away for ow.
I fell in love with him when he had nothing. He lived in an old rental house, had an old car and truck that hardly ran, and didn't have much money. I loved him for who he was. We now have a beautiful home, several vehicles including an awesome Harley, and making good money. She wants him for what he has, and what he can give her. She has been M and D three times, is fifteen years younger than him, and he is her old boss. She is desparate, and he doesn't see it. All he can see, is this much younger woman falling all over him. She will do and tell him anything to hold on to him. He is so blind. I have never told H this, as they say you should never bring up ow. Will there ever be a time to tell him how I feel. Shouldn't that be before the D.
I get so mad when I think of how he has treated me and our M with such disrespect. He has treated me so cold and mean, as if I was the one who did this to him.
He came home from work late tonight looking frumpy with his dress shirt hanging out of his pants. He drank a tall glass of water, and went straight to bed. He is now snoring away. I try to have positive thoughts whenever he is out late. Like maybe he is telling her that he has made a big mistake and is going home to see if his W would take him back. But, when he comes home looking like he did tonight, I can pretty well guess what he has been up to.
It all still feels sureal. Like I'm going to wake up and find that this has just been a very bad dream.
