She must be seeing a lawyer...what now?

[Awoken]

Her prices are about spot on I think, but it concerns me that she is saying it will be difficult and costly to prove alcoholism and BPD. Your 17 year old is def. old enough to be a witness. She was on medication in the past for bpd isn't that right? Before you hand over a hefty fee to this L, maybe you should interview another L or 2 and see what they say about your case? This seems to me to be very critical in your case, and you have said also your W is abusive to your children when drinking didn't you?

Yes, I think you are right and I should shop for lawyers. I got the nolo divorce book you recommended, and read through it. It had good recommendations about how to do this.

W is more negligent when drinking. I don't think of her as outright abusive, when compared to the stories I've been hearing at al-anon. Her mood swings have led her to some irrational attacks on the kids, which they have noticed over the years, but they don't happen when she is drinking. She drinks herself to sleep, while the kids are home, and has done it in front of them. During the past four weeks, post bomb, she's been drunk in front of them and started R talks in front of them. But that's never happened before.

RE: The MC go if your L advised you, but in my experience, and others I've seen here, they have to have both spouses willing to work on marriage counseling. If your W is not, then it will not be possible. I would not participate in divorce counseling if that's what they would like you to do, unless you are interested in D as well, and don't see how that could be used against you legally if you make that clear.

I guess I still don't know if I want to D. Somedays I think I can imagine a new happy life, and others I can't. You asked earlier about my GAL, and I posted what I've been doing. What do you think?

After I posted early today, I had decided to stay away from the forums for a little while and try to get my focus, but they day ended up being pretty bad for me so I'm back here again. It does seem to help me to talk about it here, and it keeps me from calling friends. It's unfortunate, but when I called two of my close longtime friends I found out they are both newly WAS. Something is going around.