. How best to show others I value and respect myself (or more on point is how to show myself that value and respect)?
By doing what is best for you and your kids, and not caring what your husband or anybody else thinks about it. Is it best for you to sit on this fence still? Is it best for you to be second fiddle still? Is it best for you to not be respected or valued by your husband still?
You deserve credit for everything positive that you've accomplished and mentioned above.
I know myself, from my own experience, that not respecting and valuing myself did me harm. And putting up with people who didn't value or respect me did me harm. People treat you the way you teach them to treat you! And they will continue to treat you that way until you teach them differently (and that includes letting go of them if they don't value you or respect you).
"Always go straight forward, and if you meet the devil, cut him in two and go between the pieces." - William Sturgis, clipper ship captain, 1830's.
