Sad to be here

[Norm914]

Can you tell us why you are in therapy? How long was you in therapy before your W left?

I had/have Graves’s disease but didn’t know it. I went to therapy for the anxiety and panic attacks it can cause. That has long since ceased. But I was also drinking too much to medicate the anxiety, which ceased shortly after W left. I didn’t know what was wrong with me and neither did she. She left me when I was sick and neither of us knew what was wrong with me. I totally have that under control now.

Does your W have a strong personality? Some women could devour a man like you and never look back.

Yes, she does, very much so. But she’s also one of the most caring, nurturing, giving people I have ever met. Interestingly (and I’ve had a lot of time to think about this), I don’t let people dominate me or walk on me as a rule. Try to screw me in my business and I’ll call you on it in a heartbeat. Mess with my friends or family, I’ll f@#$ you up. But when it comes to W, I screw up. I let her push me around. It’s the one area where I don’t confront. Mistake, I know.

Why do these things give you a sense of control? You are thinking all wrong here. These things you've listed that seem to "force" your W into staying in the M with you.....why on earth would you want a W to stay with you except for one reason. Do you know what that reason is? B/C she is is crazy-out-of-her-mind-in-love-with-you! If you accept anything less, then it will never be the MR she wants. Maybe you are willing to have that type of R, but you shouldn't.

Point taken, Sandi. You’re right.

I believe she wants a lot more out of life and feels that she is dying in this M between the two of you. So, don't you think you need to come to life? Do it for yourself, first. She doesn't want to be your mother.....or your nurse. She wants a man who is attractive, confident, and manly. She won't be attracted to you until you change your mental attitude.

Spot on, and that’s exactly what I’m doing. You’re absolutely right!!!

Start with no contact with her except what you have to do with business concerns. Then keep it strickly professional. Don't act all whimpy if she sees you at work. Act as if you are a confident man who has things going for him. If she says something like "lets be friends", then have a care-free attitude and say....."Oh, sure" as if you were talking to a customer! If she sees that it doesn't bother you.....then you may just catch her attention. That's more than you have now. Do not answer her emails to R talk!!!

I hear you. I just posted question to the answering of R talk emails. Yours is my first answer, but I would like to hear from others. Thanks so much ((((Sandi))))!!!