I really don't want to be on the fence anymore. I don't want to be second fiddle, but I clearly am. Thanks for pointing that out, Trent. Hurt a little to read that post, but I thought about it this afternoon and you are absolutely right. Antlers, you are also correct that my H isn't valuing me or respecting me. His behaviors (with OW) and lack of action (when it comes to the D) speak loud and clear.
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You have to let others know that you value and respect yourself enough to let go of people who don't value and respect you!
How best to show others I value and respect myself (or more on point is how to show myself that value and respect)? Is it filing for D? Is it never mentioning H's name again on this board or elsewhere? Is it dating someone else? Is it refusing to give a S a 2nd chance if they asked for forgiveness and a 2nd try? I think the answer is different for everyone. I've detached, and I have a pretty good PMA. My friends and family are amazed at my strength and I've worked hard at GAL. I don't post much because there isn't much going on, unless I want to obsess about H and OW and that's not healthy. But I acknowledge that I still miss H and some days are tough. I also have moments where I think about DR and MLCs and how we have to be more patient that we've ever been before if we are going to try to ride out the MLC and the A's that come with it. Does that mean we aren't valuing ourselves if we're willing to wait? I don't know... food for thought.
