Separated, new baby, but still hopeful

[newmama]

cIf he wants to be a dad and an H then he must give up OW. Otherwise he is just your son's father. However if you give him that ultimatum it will likely push him out the door. What you are doing is good but I would back it off a little.

I think you are right--ultimatum = bad.

My take would be to do it with your mum. But if you're like me, that will be an incredibly hard thing for you to do as you will feel like you are pushing him further away.

Yes, I am worried that I would be pushing him away if he is testing the waters. This approach I am taking is totally bizarre (non intuitive) but is still a part of the divorce busting techniques and approved by the DB coach so I am going with it for awhile. I am still going to think about the tree shopping.

I can't remember reading about the OW. What does she give him that you don't? Do you know much about her (if it's in an earlier message I apologise - just point me to it).

Let's see...admiration (over the top),she is sexually aggressive, and immature--engages in adolescent behavior. They enjoy video games, roller coasters, rock music and they work together. I think basically she is the bad girl he never got in high school.

Thank you so much for reading and responding! You aren't sounding too harsh but still sound direct which I appreciate!