Not sure what to do

[TrentC]

but I'm stuggling to try and change my relationship with her when she won't spend any time with me or speak to me unless it's about our son or the house? How can I do that (other than showing her I am changing within my own life) when there is little communication ?

As PDT pointed out in another thread, people discount the effect of third parties.

If you are making improvements, she'll hear about them. From mutual friends, relatives, your son, etc. And they carry more impact because those are OTHER PEOPLE'S impressions of you.