After all this time, I'm trying to be both realistic and pragmatic about the possibilities of reconciliation. I don't know what my W wants, and I don't think she does either. She has apparently broken it off with OM. It was an impossible fantasy situation, so it's not surprising it died a slow death. I guess I'm now entering a new phase of this whole process.
I totally hear you about forgiveness. If I do manage to save my M, I will be very determined to make it the M we never had, and since our previous M was absolutely laden with resentment, I will not allow resentment to contaminate our new M. I know that means I'll have to forgive, and not just say it, but really forgive. Not an easy task I know. Seeing the happiness on my kids' faces will give me plenty of motivation.
I am also forcing myself to see how selfish my W is still acting, and no matter how much I want my family back together, I will need to see that change. The rest of my life is at stake here. I deserve a lot better than what she has offered me so far.
