Separated, new baby, but still hopeful

[P17]

I don't want this too sound too harsh. I have been reading your thread since the start so I am rooting for you two. However I don't feel I am the right person to answer this given my new sitch, so take what I say with a pinch of salt.

I think this is all getting a bit too friendly again too soon. I am just waiting for the message where you say that he has backed off again and you are devastated. I think you should slow down a little and take the pressure off of him and you. You can still be loving and caring.

I think you are being too keen and you are doing what I was doing in earlier posts - overanalysing everything such as him leaning one way and you another. I now accept MOST of this stuff for what it is ... just two people leaning. However I still do it from time to time (see latest post about her saying 'see you later'). I completely understand the temptation to read into it. Been there, done it, got the T-shirt so I'm not having a go.

You need to always bear one thing in mind - he is having an A and every single night he is going back to OW. It doesn't have to affect your every decision but you should remember it.

Should I wait until Wed to discuss tree shopping or bring it up tonight? Wednesday he comes over for the day & I surprise him with a Thanksgiving meal.

I'm not sure about the tree shopping. I'm really not. He is currently getting his cake and eating it which was a big problem for me and W. He is getting his OW on one hand and getting to play happy families with you on the other.

My take would be to do it with your mum. But if you're like me, that will be an incredibly hard thing for you to do as you will feel like you are pushing him further away.

If he wants to be a dad and an H then he must give up OW. Otherwise he is just your son's father. However if you give him that ultimatum it will likely push him out the door. What you are doing is good but I would back it off a little.

I can't remember reading about the OW. What does she give him that you don't? Do you know much about her (if it's in an earlier message I apologise - just point me to it).