If it feels absolutely right, do it. If it feels wrong, don't. If you can't decide or keep waffling, don't.
There's no reason to fall on a sword for what you think is 'right'. Consider what is healthy.
*hugs*
and G'Man.. puhleese stop pursuing your wife. I saw how you hugged your son, how full of love you are for your family and I can only imagine how much this hurts you. The woman who's divorcing you is not who you asked to Thanksgiving.
and G'Man.. puhleese stop pursuing your wife. I saw how you hugged your son, how full of love you are for your family and I can only imagine how much this hurts you. The woman who's divorcing you is not who you asked to Thanksgiving.*hugs*
Yep. Only contact now is mediator's office or when she wants something which is now quite rarely.
Gardener
"My soul, be satisfied with flowers, With fruit, with weeds even; but gather them In the one garden you may call your own." Cyrano deBergerac
For the people who have a WAS not living under the same roof, are you inviting your spouse for Thanksgiving dinner? I know it is the right thing to do, but at this stage in the game, I don't think I could face another rejection.
I'd thought about it in terms of what the children would like; but then I was concerned they might get a mixed message at their ages.
At the end of the day, WAW preemptively not-invited herself with one of her typical backwards-in e-mails -- "you have the kids on T-day, right, because I have a thing" -- but in any event I don't think I would have invited her.
I would have taken the same position as others -- this is what happens when you make the decision you made.
And since I am -- or was -- the family cook and always did T-day anyway, feeding her wouldn't be a 180, so there, pffffffffbt!
I will likely always have T-day because WAW doesn't cook -- S9 asked me to teach her how to make omelets, for goodness sake! At some point I'm sure she'll return to the table, though that will have to be negotiated in that time and not held out in this time as an implicit promise.
In my POV, the @Gypsy Rule is basically sound -- if you're not sure, then the answer is "no."
My plan was not to invite him to dinner with us. My inlaws all invited me to dinner with them though.
Me: 33 / H: 36 M: 10y / T: 14y 3 kids BD: 2/22/14 Live in separation 3/8/14 H consult lawyer, says filing asap 4/24/14 H moved out 4/25/14 2nd time around. 1st separation 4y ago lasted a month
And since I am -- or was -- the family cook and always did T-day anyway, feeding her wouldn't be a 180, so there, pffffffffbt!
So then maybe you should just show up at her place, unannounced, sit on the couch, loosen your pants, scratch, fart and watch football and drink beer, doing nothing whatsoever to help.
[quote=SmileysPerson]So then maybe you should just show up at her place, unannounced, sit on the couch, loosen your pants, scratch, fart and watch football and drink beer, doing nothing whatsoever to help.
You know, like the rest of us.
Puppy
Hmmmmmm, not a bad idea, but you left out:
Criticize her why the house is such a mess Why isn't the laundry done? Can you work a wash, wax and oil change on the car between turkey bastings? If it isn't too much trouble between dinner and desert, mow and rake the yards?
And final question of the day:
Did I mention the laundry? If it wasn't all over the place, the house wouldn't be such a mess. And probably underneath all the laundry and part of the mess is all the stuff I just dropped on the floor to wash wax and change oil on the car. but it makes sense on your way out to mow and the rake the yard while working your way to the car. Thanks hon!
Oh, have you seen the remote? Missing the other game. And before you get too overwhelmed, could you grab me another beer?
Me 35/XW 33 S13 & S12 M: 10/17/98 OM & S: 07/08 D final 06/09/09 12/03/09 - 06/13/10 "Piercing" 06/13/10: Engaged to Re-marry 10/17/10 06/25/10: Expecting baby #3 2/14/11
[quote=SmileysPerson]So then maybe you should just show up at her place, unannounced, sit on the couch, loosen your pants, scratch, fart and watch football and drink beer, doing nothing whatsoever to help.
You know, like the rest of us.
Puppy
Hmmmmmm, not a bad idea, but you left out:
Criticize her why the house is such a mess Why isn't the laundry done? Can you work a wash, wax and oil change on the car between turkey bastings? If it isn't too much trouble between dinner and desert, mow and rake the yards?
And final question of the day:
Did I mention the laundry? If it wasn't all over the place, the house wouldn't be such a mess. And probably underneath all the laundry and part of the mess is all the stuff I just dropped on the floor to wash wax and change oil on the car. but it makes sense on your way out to mow and the rake the yard while working your way to the car. Thanks hon!
Oh, have you seen the remote? Missing the other game. And before you get too overwhelmed, could you grab me another beer?
