Can I save my marriage?

[TrentC]

Oh dear. Its gonna in against every single bone in my body. Where do you get the courage? It wont scare him off?

He's still trying, isn't he?

It might not make him happy but I doubt it will scare him off.

[chatterbug]

He is already scared off Britt. Husband has to earn it. Marriage is both people working together. Lately its been 100% you. So let him work his buns off to equal it out.

[Ready2Change]

Here's a wise piece of advice. When this happens (because it will) and he indicates that he wants to give the R another chance.. as much as it's going to feel wrong and your heart jumps and beats at 240 BPM... TURN HIM DOWN.

What!!!??!!! Did I hear you right? Are you INSANE??!!!!

Turn him down. Yes, you heard me right and NO I am not insane.

Don't make it a hard turn down like, "Over my dead body..." Nope, all you say at that point is... "I dunno. I'm not sure. Let me to think about it." Then shut up. If he wants you he will work for you. If he thinks he's about to lose you at that point, he'll work harder.

This is all in the future so be prepared for it.

THIS IS PHENOMENAL, SAGE ADVICE.

"Letting them back in too easy" is probably the #2 mistake around here, after "Pursuit."

Puppy

Gnosis is DEAD NUTS RIGHT!

It will be very important to listen, validate, empathize.
It will be very important to be NICE.
It will be important to not directly answer YES OR NO, rather POSTPONE your response! Post pone all your responses. "I will need time to think about that". That will give you time to come here, get advise and give him THE RIGHT RESPONSE.

If it feels uncomfortable, it is the right thing to do.

HUGS

[motherof3]

Listen to them Brit. They all know what they are talking about.

[Lll54]

Well, I don't want to get too ahead of myself. So I'm just taking things day by day. But I definitely will tell him I need to think about it. Then I will be on here two minutes later looking for help. But we're not there yet. H called last night after work, to see how the boys were. Very new to us, he doesn't normaly call so very happy to have this stuff happening. Talked a bit, at the end of conversation he tried to state when we will talk next, but I interuppted him and told him I'd talk to him wed. when I come grab the boys. Ha! He was speechless, pretty much said "okay, talk to ya later"

P.S. Got hit on today at work. A patient came in and flirted with me like crazy. Wow, what a great feeling. Has anybody ever mentioned things like this to their spouses inconspicuouly?

[Puppy Dog Tails]

P.S. Got hit on today at work. A patient came in and flirted with me like crazy. Wow, what a great feeling. Has anybody ever mentioned things like this to their spouses inconspicuouly?

Britt,

Please look up the definition to the word "subtle" in the dictionary, and then get back to us.

Puppy

[Ready2Change]

P.S. Got hit on today at work. A patient came in and flirted with me like crazy. Wow, what a great feeling. Has anybody ever mentioned things like this to their spouses inconspicuouly?

I would not recommend "telling" S in words. Show him in your actions, behavior, etc. Sounds like a boost to the self confidence. One thing you can do is to think of that positive event, and you will feel that feeling again. Great way to project happiness to H.

[TrentC]

P.S. Got hit on today at work. A patient came in and flirted with me like crazy. Wow, what a great feeling. Has anybody ever mentioned things like this to their spouses inconspicuouly?

It's not "inconspicuous" if you mention it.

What would be great would be for one of your friends to mention it when you're not around. Those things always carry more weight if they come from a third party.

[Ready2Change]

told him I'd talk to him wed. when I come grab the boys. Ha! He was speechless, pretty much said "okay, talk to ya later"

Yes, you did end the conversation first. Good job. You also made a commitment to talk to him. Avoid R talk like the plague......"I don't have time to talk right now, got to run".

[Gnosis]

P.S. Got hit on today at work. A patient came in and flirted with me like crazy. Wow, what a great feeling. Has anybody ever mentioned things like this to their spouses inconspicuouly?

C'mon Britt... toe the line girl. Use them feminine instincts of yours. Pick his closest spy with whom you are on good terms with, connect with them and in the course of conversation casually drop your spicy gossip in.

Example: You're on good terms with SIL, whom you know will blab to him the minute you get off the phone. Call her up. Talk about the weather or whatever. Somewhere you mention, "Hey girl, I've just got to tell you this! I met this cute guy at work today. Wow, is he hot! And he asked me out. Can you believe it!" and then wait for the fish to bite with the question, "So, what did you do?" ... and then you act all nervous... "I shouldn't have told you about that. Just forget about it OK?" ... when she pushes for more... you say, "Nothing happened. Just forget about it. Please don't say anything." .... and that is how it's done.

Hope this helps.