For the people who have a WAS not living under the same roof, are you inviting your spouse for Thanksgiving dinner? I know it is the right thing to do, but at this stage in the game, I don't think I could face another rejection.
I'd thought about it in terms of what the children would like; but then I was concerned they might get a mixed message at their ages.
At the end of the day, WAW preemptively not-invited herself with one of her typical backwards-in e-mails -- "you have the kids on T-day, right, because I have a thing" -- but in any event I don't think I would have invited her.
I would have taken the same position as others -- this is what happens when you make the decision you made.
And since I am -- or was -- the family cook and always did T-day anyway, feeding her wouldn't be a 180, so there, pffffffffbt!
I will likely always have T-day because WAW doesn't cook -- S9 asked me to teach her how to make omelets, for goodness sake! At some point I'm sure she'll return to the table, though that will have to be negotiated in that time and not held out in this time as an implicit promise.
In my POV, the @Gypsy Rule is basically sound -- if you're not sure, then the answer is "no."
