Separated

[hbdad]

Update 11/24/09

Whew! What a weekend. On Friday (my birthday) my wife and I attended marriage counseling together for the second time. I am just trying to rush things to quickly. WAW is mad that I had the kids stay at friends house so we could have some alone time. She wanted to see the kids. I planned on making a candlelight dinner for after the counseling and talk just to see how it would turn out. The counseling went OK. WAW said she finally had come to the conclusion she should stop talking to the OM in the EA. This was progress to me and the counselor. Of course I wanted it all back! My patience is the hardest thing to deal with right now.

After counseling we do have a candlelight dinner and I am pursuing like a jackass! We flirt a little have some fun, cry, talk. We end up sleeping in the same bed, no sex. Felt great as I held onto her all night. Then in the morning she actually put her head on my shoulder for a little bit. She was also feeling nervous. This nervousness is something I JUST DO NOT UNDERSTAND. It's like she wants to love me but won't allow herself to do so.

Saturday I stay at my other house and she is in the family home. I stayed home because every time I go out, some chick I know wants to console me if you know what I mean. I have posted in my journal that I am more afraid of finding someone else right now because I am so lonely.


Sunday - STUPIDITY

I decide to go and have a couple of beers and watch the Lions game. I notice on my son's Facebook page that they are putting up Christmas decorations. I was more than a little upset. I drove back to the family home and said "Why are you doing this without me?" I always hang the outdoor decorations. WAW says she is just putting up a couple. I help put up the rest and take off as she is feeling nervous with anxiety again.

Here's where I make a huge mistake. I decide I've had enough of living in a room while I am not at the family home. I decide in my mind that she is cake eating. She wants the D, She is having the EA. So I grab my stuff and head home. I walk in and say I am staying here tonight. Which is contempt of court! I hop in the shower, take my sleeping meds and go to bed. WAW flips out and calls the police on me, creates a huge scene in front of the kids. I am to blame and I accept that. But did she really have to fan the flames and call the police?

BOTTOM LINE- We had progressed last week but I feel we took a huge backslide because of that incident.

We have been talking all week where as before I wasn't talking and was out GALing.

Should I go back to GALing?
Should I stop talking?
???????????????????

Totally confused.