Crissy - you're reading my mind (which I'm not so sure is full anymore!)!
OK, so just a clarification... the cutting comments are a typical cyclical pattern of his. He gets annoyed w/a situation, a person, a problem w/his life, and the comments start to come. TYPICALLY, I hold off as long as I can, and then there's some kind of blow-up (this has literally been 2-3 times/year, since we M'd).
I knew you'd like my "what I'd LIKE to say." Ha! But, it's not happening.
I'll try your idea. I'll be a heck of an actress, if he makes a comment, and I have to turn around and be Smiling Suzy after it, but I'll try!
What does H do to take care of himself? Nothing. He sleeps at odd times, for short periods of time, during the week... Then, when he's home on weekends, he attempts to catch up, gets frustrated because he can't just fall asleep when he wants to, etc... He eats crap all week. Seriously. Candy bars, Diet Mountain Dew, hot dogs, pizza, etc... That's why I am diligent on cooking nice dinners when he's home on the select nights during the week, and weekends. He's always thankful for them. He gets NO exercise, except that he gets while working. He confides in NO ONE (that I know of, of course). I'm the closest he's ever gotten to anyone (that I know of, of course). He just doesn't get close to anyone.
With that picture described above, it's amazing that he's almost 6 foot, and 180ish. He's in decent shape (starting to sag a bit, but not anything like you'd imagine from his lifestyle). He looks healthy. He's the joker of the crowd, and if we're in a group, usually the one messing around with the kids. He's somewhat comfortable with friends of ours, but not really true friends with any of them. He likes them, but wouldn't go out of his way to make plans. The only thing he's done (initiating) within the last few years that I can remember is to take the boys to Happy Hour w/my BFF and other good friend, and the kids while I was away on a business trip. The BFF and good friend said he acted silly, and was "Typical H."
This is why I'm shocked about him going to the Naturopath... His stomach must have really been bothering him for him to actually go, "buy" into the program w/the detox, and Yeast Free Diet (plus, supplements), etc...
Who knows, maybe it will detox all of his emotional poisons right out of him, too!?!?!
Thanks, my friend!!!
PS - I must be reading too much BobbiJo. In the past, I would have let the exchange from last night ruin my day, and I wouldn't have really felt ok until we talked again, and things were normal, etc... Today, I actually feel fine. I notice the cycle. I'm continuing on w/my life. He'll be home tonight or tomorrow, and I will have some sushi (from this great new place) for him if he comes tonight (S12 has ANOTHER bball game), and he knows the boys and I are going to a friends tonight after the game. If he doesn't come home, I'll give him the update from the game, and leave it at that. I feel okay with this. I just had to focus on NOT feeding the cycle.
Last edited by mindfull; 11/24/0904:05 PM.
Me-46, D-21, S15, S13
After many years w/my head in the sand... I FILED Divorced 6/2011
The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.
