I wondered whether my doing this yesterday was one of the triggers for her anger (she has periodically referred to why I couldn't have made these changes before)
Yes she will be angry at you for suddenly jumping on the things that she wanted so despartly in years past and you just let it slide. She is emotionally done with the M and has no desire, interest, or energy left to give to it. She feels all used up in that department b/c of the years she had to do it without you.
Thanks, Sandi. This observation is consistent with comments she has made repeatedly over the past four months (I haven't, until recently, been very good at avoiding R discussions!). She has repeated stated that she is hurt and angry. Angry because I should have noticed the problems and addressed them prior. She doesn’t want D8 to see this type of relationship. She isn’t happy. She deserves to be loved and cherished. That she has so much to give. She added that "I wouldn't have got here if I thought I had a choice"
She said “if I were to stay it would just go back like the way it was before.” Yet she has also commented (a week or so ago) to the effect that, who knows, perhaps if I change and she changes we will end up together after a period of time.
The other thing I should confess is that I have been somewhat preoccupied with the EA/PA. I am now resolved to avoiding the topic. However, as recently as this month I raised it again and asserted that the EA/PA was going on while we were married. I said a guy doesn't repeatedly get to professions of love by kissing a few times. This made WAS very angry. She interprets these comments as my calling her a whore.
