Sanderika, I have to say that the progression of H's relationship with both kids is really heartening. The love between them has reignited and in this way I can see the H of years ago...the one who was besotted with our babies, the one who was excited to share and teach our kids and the Dad who was idolised by both our kids. I did tell him yesterday that i could see this progression and affirmed him on the development and he was appreciative of my insight.
The significant thing between H and I is that I continue to see him responding to my communication in a friendly manner but at the same time he is adamant that this is over. I'm not 100% convinced that H is sure about the divorce...he did take 30 mins to respond which is unusual and he has always stated that he didn't want a divorce. Anyway for now I am taking him at face value but I am observing some conflict between his words and actions. I have decided that we need a divorce because our marriage is over. It no longer exists and never will again. Any reconciliation, as slim as that chance may be will be a brand new one.
Gardener....wow thanks for the care in your words. When I read your posts I am always filled with admiration for the warmth and integrity your words convey. Thanks for sharing your perspective. It's so wonderful to hear someone elses's thoughts.
Originally Posted By: Gardener
Cas,
Originally Posted By: Cas05
Inlaw Dilemma who exactly would you be making uncomfortable? [quote=Cas05]H for starters and then then SILs and BILs who won't know how to act around us. If I sense they are uncomfortable, so too, will I be![/quote]
Sounds like he was just being polite. Could it be possible that he was disappointed that you said no when his invite words included, "It's a family only thing and he says as far as they're concerned I will always be family."? FIL is a wonderful, wonderful man. If he was disappointed he would never, ever say so.
[quote=Cas05]My kids want me to go.
So do I
Originally Posted By: Cas05
In my heart I want to go!!
I think I know the answer but just want other people's thoughts.
So what's your answer that you think you know? I thought I should stay here and face the reality that as much as I love the family they are H's family and I no longer belong at their family celebrations.
Originally Posted By: Cas05
H asked me this morning if he could take the kids so obviously FIL hadn't told H he would invite me.
I say call FIL back and accept. He, MIL, kids, and you will be glad you did. Tell H, 'You don't have to take them, I'll take them."
Go. Go to loving, always-be-family MIL's 70th.
My take, kiddo. Thanks again for your perspective, Gardener.
Oz; you know the story as well as anyone and that's why I'm always interested in your opinion. Thanks. You're right about the loving and caring relatioship I have with them and how lucky I am to still be experiencing this.
Perhaps I call H and talk to him about it? At least then if H says he prefers I not go I haven't presumed anything and I can tell my FIL and the kids that H feels that way.
