Partner left after 9 yrs - 18months on, reunited !

[AliSuddenly]

Hey K! I felt upset yesterday about Helen and about the past 2 years and that I still get a little insecure occasionally. Not because I'm not good enough, or pretty enough, or anything.. just because someone can have that amount of power, to choose to walk out and that was a harsh lesson, as I was totally devastated when he did. It was humbling and humiliating when he left me.

The Helen thing upsets me because its humiliating that she met EVERYONE. She had that status as his new gf. MIL was still being awkward with me up until this weekend. My bf finally confronted it (she practically blanked me Friday and he told her off.. ) she's been super nice since! We have NO idea why its taken her 6 months to get over feeling wierd about me and him being back together (she 'lost' him again I guess).

The other thing that upset me was I filled in a mortgage application and the only box that applied was 'single'. I told him ticking single upset me, but he just hugged me reasuringly. Everythings so normal like the last 2 1/2 years never happened, that I got upset and said why me? Why am I the one that this happened to?? Why am I the lucky one? He said HE was the lucky one, because I waited for him. I said, but why did you come back? He said, "For LOVE, because I love you. What is love afterall? I dont know, all I know is I love you." So he IS committed. Just after the trauma of the past 2 1/2 years and losing that status as his gf to someone else, its important to me to get M and I feel I deserve him to marry me now! Why doesnt he get that?? I even told him at the weekend I wished we were engaged.. he just pulled a sad face!