First time poster feeling a bit lost

[MT21]

Ok, Wow where can I start..

Another Man no I dont think so, but I understand there could be.
She has more business trips lately, They are genuine. However the same colleague (Male 24) always go's with her.(but that dont mean anything)
She talks about him freely and in chit chat, but never really given any hints that she is doing anything.(I am fairly certain she isnt)
Phone, never guarded her phone but since breaking the news always takes handbag + personals to bed with her.Never lying around.
She is sleeping in spare room.

Drinking, Yes but let me be clear I am not a drunk. I have a responsible, well paid job. Yes I have made a lifestyle choice to stop drinking. (For me)

Do I love my wife, 100% Yes. Always have always will..

Is another man a deal breaker...Thats gonna really hurt and it will take time to heal... But marriage is two way so I am partly responsible for her feeling thats the solution . I love her regardless.

In terms of my wife..She put on a considerable amount of weight after our second child. 50LBS. It didnt matter to me I loved here anyway.

But she got to grips with it..Lost it all and more now shes about 126lbs (I think) all in..V.Attractive, well dressed always fashionable. And takes a massive amount of care over her appearance. This has not changed recently. No more no less.

Respect..Yes she probably has lost respect for me..But so I have I. I see it so why not her. (my eyes are now open)

Relationship...No planning, no energy recently just coasting (in hindsight) This is from both sides.. Its not like shes been complaining and I just ignore.

I must admit this morning I broke down in front of her..It wasnt pretty and she offered comfort from a distance...Later she hugged me before leaving for work.

Thats all I can write for now...

MT