"Try looking at your spouse and imagine giving him one while you're talking."
See.. now that is what I am talking about.
The "idea" or "thought" behind that is super solid advice.
Maria, right now you are your worst enemy. And you know it. All the discussion about dating.. putting things off.. delaying.. you get the idea.
My thought is.. You always "loose" something when you are faced with tuff times. As you know.. I like people that "stand out" when faced with tuff times. You know you are my "favorite". So.. once again.. what does that mean?
Off we go...
"Cant find my "pieces""
To me you clearly state what your issues are. The thing I like about it is that you know.. you are "at fault". As I have said many times before.. How can you get somewhere.. if you don't know where you are going? Don't focus on I said you were "at fault".
In my travels "here" with you.. "Him" and I have seen you "Stand up". You will tell me that you "stood up" when you "had the world". To a point this is true. The "emotion" that you had was what was attractive. It was the "ideas" and the "thoughts" that showed thru. What you don't realize.. or understand.. is that is who you are. You are the person that "shines" when it's cloudy. To a point.. you need the "drama". Much like me.
"What's the purse like? This girl would enjoy to know."
Jesus H. Christ! I could pay my house payment with that purse. Lavish him with gift's. Remember.. if you look back.. they don't have to be "expensive".. they have to be "heart felt". A little bit of the real you in them. I understand "this".
"Happy Name Day"
Yea.. I was late. It was not intentional. It does not mean I Love you any less. Men and dates. We fail.
"He made a big effort. He bought something he knows I LOVE and not something I need. He had to go downtown"
I applaud the effort.. Honestly.. he was trying to impress you.
"took a lady friend with him for advice."
This is why I have always said.. you are not "communicating" with him.
"She suggested another place but he said he wanted to go there because of the quality or something similar."
"quality"
That is the word to define. Why would he care about "quality"? Is he trying to "make up"? Or does he "see" it and want to "caress" it? Why does an "man" work? What does he expect in return? What happens when the "woman".. is more "manly"? To me.. and my crazy mind.. he is a man of many "means". He does well and expects a "reaction". He does not understand that the "woman" does not need the "means". He can't see the Physical LL in you Maria. He is applying his logic to it. Remember the gift.. on the plane? The kiss on the steps? You know I have always labeled him a "girly" man.
"He said facing me, my feelings, the way I am cautious and careful, he says he sees my feelings on my face all the time. I told him I have big question mark lack of sexual desire. Unfortunately he asked something I didn't get and I got upset and ended the conversation before I got any answers. But he seemed to "know" it is an issue."
Cough. He is looking for a reaction in you. Let me point it out that you know.
"I know that there are men that can treat me the way i want to be treated. No doubts there. I guess i want something easy, effortless, mutual, with the right timing, same level of maturity etc etc. I want some happiness."
"I am focusing too much on him and his actions"
"The way we do this now, is putting too much pressure on me and it's the kind of pressure I don't know how to handle."
""I am miserable, I don't know what it is, I cant figure out why it is getting worse each day but I am really really miserable"
You are outside of your LL here. Yet to a point your are waiting on a reaction from him.
You understand why he "strayed". You expect him to "react" to that.
He won't.
He will react to the woman.. that understands it.. and is willing to move on from it.
Show him the love you have for him.. even though he does not deserve it.
You have to "listen" too. He is talking.. thru you. I can "see" it.. and I hate him for what he has done.
Relax Eat Think Act normal React.. Smartly. Do something different. Emulate. Do Work.
