Changing Man

[Gnosis]

3) Actually, I have changed my mind on this. ../snip/.. I now plan to rent an apt. or cottage and give myself a year to heal because a) I don't need the additional stressor of pulling up stakes so soon after this year's ordeals, and b) it began to feel a bit like running away.

I'm glad to hear it. That is a great attitude to have. This is what I was talking about before.

4)Sorry, but I do have compassion for her. Period. And since that word is (justifiably and charitably) used a lot on this forum, I do sometimes temper it by adding its actual, dictionary definition: "Sympathetic pity". Also, Gnosis, I don't "torture" myself by having that compassion.

Great. I just wanted to make sure of that. You've got a good heart Gman and the next lady who finds herself your companion is going to be extremely lucky.

5)Describing my opinion of her current state and issues (confused, distraught, in pain, scared, has FOO issues) for me, comes under the heading of "and I cannot help her with these". Your "And the correct way to feel about this is: "No longer my problem" is not me. There's "detachment" and there's "heartless".

Yeah, that's my mistake. The "not your problem" bit has always been a problem for me So let me clarify a bit on my take and see if this makes sense... for me personally I mean: "I will avoid dwelling on it. I have to stay away because my help will be rejected and misconstrued. There is nothing I can do and if I do anything it could lead to pulling me back into the emotional mess I'm trying to recover from." ... so yeah.. NMP is my way of saying that.. just gotta be more clear on that in the future.

For point 6... her reaction got a laugh out of me.

I'm really glad you're in a better place now. You have reached that point of inner peace that you need to move past "survive" and into "thrive". That you will thrive, I have no doubt.