Sandi's Place

[goodattitudegirl]

Sandi,

Yes, when I first found the board I scoured the MLC threads and printed out a lot of the threads from "Happy Again" and some of the other men I found there. I haven't searched the MLC threads for WAHs for a few months so I don't know if there is anyone new there. I guess it's time to check again. Thank you for your suggestion. If you think of anyone I could ask for advice from would you please let me know?

You have helped many folks here. Thank you for your time.

GAG

[givingitmyall]

Hey Sandi. Hope you are doing well. I have had a glum few days since a big development in my sitch on Thursday. If you have the time, I would appreciate your insight.

Take care.

[MrBond]

Hi Sandi,

I hope you're doing well. I've been reading your advice to other people on their posts and as always, you've hit the nail on the head.

I was wondering if you could pop into my thread to see what's been going on. I was wondering what your opinion was of what's going on.

God bless.

[givingitmyall]

Hey Sandi.

Just checking in on you. Hope you are doing well.

[sandi2]

Thanks sweetie-pie! You guys are a gem....really. I am doing okay and actually had a couple of good days recently and have enjoyed just not feeling bad....

Got a piece of great news tonight. We had been worried about our D and the fact she might have cancer. I had not mentioned the C word and don't think I have even mentioned about my D......but anyway, she DOESN'T HAVE CANCER!!! So, needless to say, we are rejoicing in our hearts tonight. She is in a great deal of pain, however, aNd the doctor doesn't know why....but what they thought was showing up on the MRI suddenly wasn't there the last time they checked. I had hoped that it was something they could give her a pill for to make the pain go away. But we are relieved that it isn't a tumor and maybe another doctor can out why she's in pain.

Thank you so much for checking on me. Whenever I read your posts on somebody's thread.....I just think you are so sweet and kind to them.....especially the women who are left with broken hearts. Isn't that funny.....I have almost decided I should stay away from women who have a WAH b/c I think I lose my patient with them to quickly...and I'm probably not their favorite person to talk to. Women are just that way, though. Then a gentle man like you comes along with soft, comforting words and she just melts. (LOL)

Drop by any time!

[ClingingToHope]

That's great news on your daughter. I haven't read your entire story, but I've seen you boil it down in posts.

I'm feeling very stuck in limboland. I don't see any movement or change at all in my W. It has only been since Oct. 6 that I forced an R talk and she hasn't mentioned D since Oct. 22 though she did send an email on Nov. 2 asking for the list of local lawyers who do collaborative divorce.

Did you ever actually file? If not, did you ever get to the brink of filing and then pull back? If so, why?

I guess I'm wondering if the fact she hasn't filed when she said she was going to soon on Oct. 22 is a good thing or is it too early to read anything into that?

Did your H ever date while you were in WAW mode? I've gone out in groups with a lady who I might be interested in if W files for D. This lady point blank asked me if I was done and by my answer she could tell that I wasn't so by the end of the night she was giving me dating tips because she doesn't think I'll be dating her.

The attention was a good mood booster and took my mind off W. But I'm confused now more than ever.

[sandi2]

I was almost a WAW but I never left home. I had all the feelings and said the "script" things to my H .....and almost left the night everything hit the fan, but came back home after thinking about having to go to work the next day. Anyway, my story is a bit different but I was no different than any other WAW in my heart. It was as closed as a tomb! I think a short separation might have been helpful to me & my H just to let all the tension go and rest a few days away from each other. But, when you have close family member....and you live in a very small town, it's hard to do without causing a lot of gossip, or else a lot of explaining.....so we never S.

We never filed for D. I did not get to the brink of it. I suppose that I was raised that you S first, and then you file for D. Most people just jump straight for the D.

I guess I'm wondering if the fact she hasn't filed when she said she was going to soon on Oct. 22 is a good thing or is it too early to read anything into that?

Well I believe she has one hand still left on you as a vine, while she's swinging toward another vine (OM) and she's not letting go until she knows she's good and safe with the new vine.

My H did not date when I was in a WAW mode. But, if he had acted as if he wanted to, it would have really gotten my attention and if he had been interested in one particular person....my jealousy would have been soaring. So, that ios something to consider. Everyone has to decide if that is right for them or not.

Have to shut down now, but I'll catch you tomorrow. Stay strong. You can do this.

[steve477]

Hi Sandi

Hope you are keeping well, and keeping everyone on the straight and narrow. My daughter is 14 months now and grows to look more like me everyday recently. Me and my wife are very happy now, happier than we have ever been. But I never forget the people who helped me through that bad patch. I hope my story can still bring hope to others.I would like to come back and help one day, but still got hands full with job and family at thr moment.

My love to you and all I know!


Steve

[ClingingToHope]

Sandi, another question. I've been out of the house 6 1/2 months now. About two months in we settled into an unwritten agreement that I'd pay her $485 every two weeks.

I've talked to a L who thinks that's generous. I do not want to get a D, but I'm also barely scraping by.

My lease is up at end of January. I'm in LRT now so I'm not calling, texting in any way other than than for kids stuff.

I know she's struggling a bit even though she earns more than I do AND gets the $485, but I want to kind of push things forward without actually filing. I want her to more accurately feel what the effect will be if we do D.

Is this a good idea or should I just sit and wait in limboland?

[sandi2]

Oh Steve! I am so thrilled that you checked in! I have told several people about your story when they would wonder if there was any hope in their stitch.

I think of your little family often and I do hope that you can find the time to come back. It would be tremdous encouragement to others.

Thank you for updating me. Give the baby a kiss from Grandmama Sandi.....