Serenity, Sorry about the worrisome ordeal. Random thoughts (all of which you already know)
Give son consequences, set boundaries, but remember he's young, confused and in pain. Has he had/is he in IC? If not and he balks, set up an initial consultation anyway. Alternatively, is there a counselor at school, maybe?
Buy one of the many in-home drug-testing kits. Make testing part of consequences if he goes AWOL, wayward or if you even suspect he's high.
Live with H?? Right.
Did he really say "parental unit" or is that just you? Coneheads, anyone? Mepps!! Mepps!!
Hang in there.
Gardener
"My soul, be satisfied with flowers, With fruit, with weeds even; but gather them In the one garden you may call your own." Cyrano deBergerac
Thank you for your kind words... I used to take it all to heart (and still do sometimes to be honest) and think everything was a reflection on me... Now I know better and I also know I have no control over it... At this point in time I just want to smack both of them
(((Puppy)))
As long as there is breath in me, my H isn't getting my son. My son seems to think if he goes and lives with H, he won't be made to follow any rules and can pretty much do whatever he wants. (I am not disagreeing since I know how my H is acting) So since I put my foot down on that matter, I am the b***h in his eyes. I already let my H know that neither one of our sons will be visiting his place at any point in time (unless I am court ordered). He can come and visit them at the place I am living or take them to the park, bowling etc... But under no circumstances are they allowed to enter his den of sin. As you know he hasn't bothered to take me up on any of those offers and hasn't fought me to allow them to go there either. He lives in the exact moment he is in, so sad to say, I don't trust him with our boys right now.
(((Gardener))) LOL...He said the parental unit I did ground S from almost everything (until further notice) and since he is off school this week for Thanksgiving break, he isn't liking me much right now. He has already called me to see if he can go to the mall with some friends... Not gonna happen plus my Mom is there so he is now under constant supervision. We have court on Wednesday and he will have to do a drug test he doesn't know this and I am not warning him ahead of time either. If he fails the test he goes to detention... I am at a loss that he is testing me this way however the enemy still isn't going to win.
May All Who Seek To Take My Life Be Put To Shame And Confusion; May All Who Desire My Ruin Be Turned Back In Disgrace. ~Psalm 40:14~
Serenity, Another thought: are there any decent adult male role models - in school or church, perhaps - that your son likes and who you might ask to give your boy some time and attention? If H is all he has (leaving out the above words decent and adult), he needs a surrogate. Especially at his age.
Gardener
"My soul, be satisfied with flowers, With fruit, with weeds even; but gather them In the one garden you may call your own." Cyrano deBergerac
Thank you...I wish I felt as strong as I sound however it ebbs and flows...I act "as if" until I know it is complete within me.
As for the role models ~ Our Pastor is more then willing as is my Dad (we live with my parents right now), also shockingly enough the detective in the trespassing case has reached out to him, came to see him at school and let him know anytime he would be right there...
My S did (unbeknownst to me) sign up for a mentor through his school who comes and visits him once a week - A man from the nearby military base who S seems to really enjoy talking to...
I know H has repeatedly stated he would be there for the boys no matter what however his actions sure speak louder then his words.
Here is another bump in my journey ~ Received a text message from my brother tonight stating I needed to get my stuff out of his storage unit by next Thursday...
How sweet is my family?
So now with no money, I have to find a storage unit, rent a truck, hopefully find some men to help move things otherwise I get to move all the furniture with maybe my S to help all within a weeks time...
I also have to work 6 days a week and have court on Wednesday for the trespassing charge.
Tell you what - When the enemy has his sights set on you, he is relentless
May All Who Seek To Take My Life Be Put To Shame And Confusion; May All Who Desire My Ruin Be Turned Back In Disgrace. ~Psalm 40:14~
Thank you...I wish I felt as strong as I sound however it ebbs and flows...I act "as if" until I know it is complete within me. Same thing. Same here, too.
As for the role models ~ Our Pastor is more then willing as is my Dad (we live with my parents right now), also shockingly enough the detective in the trespassing case has reached out to him, came to see him at school and let him know anytime he would be right there...All of this is good news I didn't know/forgot that you were with your folks. Grandpa, that's great.
My S did (unbeknownst to me) sign up for a mentor through his school who comes and visits him once a week - A man from the nearby military base who S seems to really enjoy talking to...Better and better. Blessed.
I know H has repeatedly stated he would be there for the boys no matter what however his actions sure speak louder then his words. Pffft!
Here is another bump in my journey ~ Received a text message from my brother tonight stating I needed to get my stuff out of his storage unit by next Thursday... So now with no money, I have to find a storage unit, rent a truck, hopefully find some men to help move things otherwise I get to move all the furniture with maybe my S to help all within a weeks time...Bump. Ouch!
I also have to work 6 days a week and have court on Wednesday for the trespassing charge.
Tell you what - When the enemy has his sights set on you, he is relentless Yeah, but you're still standin'! Keep hangin in'.
Gardener
"My soul, be satisfied with flowers, With fruit, with weeds even; but gather them In the one garden you may call your own." Cyrano deBergerac
Some a little taller then others however none of us have hit the ground and not gotten back up no matter what has been thrown our way...
This website is full of some of the most determined people I have ever met - Very inspiring
I sense a movie script in the works.
Wow, this should be its own thread. Who would play you in the DivorceBusting movie?
Me: 44, Wife: 39 M: 17 years T: 20 years Bomb on 08/25/09 1/13/10: MC started 1/28/10, 2/8/10: More bombs 8/28/10: Wife moved out No talk of D, no movement
