Hi Sandi. I'm 46. WAS is 37. Married 13 years, together 14. Three children: S12, S10, D8. I've read one of your posts from a while ago that refers to the "love bank" illustration. It was bang on. I fear that I neglected WAS over the years. I ignored or declined to do the smallest things that would make her happy. As an example, she would always ask for a Christmas letter. Some years I would comply, other years I wouldn't bother. I was, to put it bluntly, selfish. This year is the first year, after 11 years at our current house, that I put up Christmas lights (one of my 180's) - the decorations and celebration was something that was very important to her. I wondered whether my doing this yesterday was one of the triggers for her anger (she has periodically referred to why I couldn't have made these changes before). My profession (attorney) seems to have made her very suspicious as she continually refers to my alleged ulterior motives and questions whether I intend to try to "squash" her. She regards any positive changes (i.e. reduced alcohol consumption, better anger management) in an extremely suspicious manner.
The following words (as recorded in my Journal) are what she used to describe her EA/PA after I learned of it. They speak volumes:
"He understood me. He believed in me He had my back. He was my friend. He cared about me. He got me. He appreciated me."
