Going straight forward...antlers 5th thread.

[antlers]

I'll try to post some good stuff (at least to me) later on tonight.

I've had problems all of my life with self-worth, self-love, self-respect, self-esteem, etc.. I would numb the pain (feelings of inadequacy, powerlessness, and feeling unloveable) by being angry, resentful, and abusive. It cost me...huge!

I truly believe, and am learning, that what I cannot get from others is my core value, my internal sense of importance, value, worthiness, equality, and personal power - my ability to act according to my deepest values. These are too personal and too important to rely on the advice or behavior of others. They must be self-regulated. No matter how wise others are...friends, therapists, family, and authors cannot circulate your blood, metabolize the cells of your body, or regulate your core value.

People's behavior always reflects the current state of their core value.

My marriage is over, and my wife is gone. She's divorcing me. That is the brutal reality. I'm striving to be strong, powerful, secure, confident, and compassionate.

My kids are my life now, and my work is becoming more important to me. I honestly want to continue to do, and be, better than ever. I'm committed to it.