@Puppy Dog Tails: So you can't be friends with a woman who does this, even after you are separated, moving toward divorce. But you COULD be friends with her while she was doing this, while she was still living with you in the marriage?
I'm going to double-down on here. Either you're not reading what I'm writing, or I'm not writing what you're reading.
At no point did I say that I would be friends with her if she was living with me and cheating, which seems to be what's implied in your question.
I said I wouldn't be Friendy to her so long as she continues to maintain contact with Signore and purports that she can't not have him in her life, despite the fact that we are divorcing.
Was that not-un-clear?
Timeline:
D-Day: She's in EA/PA. I don't know this. I ask. Scoff: "Why does it have to be someone else? Can't I just want this for me?"
D+(30): She admits contact, "not EA, definitely not PA."
D+(60): Commence Friendiness -- not friends; DB strategy: "Be at best, do what didn't do before, etc."
D+(80): She admits minor EA, very minor PA, "but not going all the way."
D+(120): She moves out; she admits "going all the way."
D+(170): Signore dumps her -- now that she's in position to "get" him, he flees.
D+(190): Great European Getaway
D+(195): Noises; drops by "to ask something;" proceeds with Sad Lamentations re: Signore; stands up for self; tells Signore he's a scumbag.
D+(220): Batsh*t-Crazy-A-Thon 2; "I'm going to European Capital, I'm going to be a big slut, I'm going to do all the things to any Mr. Anyone I can find that I wouldn't do for you!" Friendiness suspended
D+(240): Makes excuses for Signore; "makes up" with Signore; wants to "make up with you, too."
D+(240)--> Friendiness terminated; if she needs him that much, that's fine -- but that's nothing I need to be associated with, even obliquely
