Changing Man

[Gardener]

Gima, I'm with you 100% on that. I trust you know I am quite detached at this point.
It all started with Gnosis' response to my response to brknheart

My emotions are telling me that I want her back and am hoping she wakes up one day and realizes what she is doing is wrong.

My emotions now tell me I don't want who she is now back. At all. And I know she will realize one day what she did was wrong. She destroyed everything family-wise and appears intent on finishing off whatever "loose ends" she's left blended-family-wise.

And this my friend is why she still has a hold on you no matter what she has done and is doing you still cling to the hope of reconciliation. Detachment is letting go. Letting go of everything. Drop the rope. Let the cards fall as they may. A healthy man would say, "I'm done. If she realizes what she's done... or not... I couldn't give a damn. It's not my problem. That's something she will have to take up with her creator in her own time."

How my not wanting who she is now and knowing she will regret this someday = I'm clinging to the hope of reconciliation didn't add up.

When I was pondering when to move, I was honest about that last thread of hope that I believe exists even in the most hopeless of sitches - like mine -(too bad SpyBunny already owns the handle "Stick a Fork In It." )

Greek got it right - understood me - when she responded,

And I had to admit to myself the other day - tough to admit - I was weighing the two options wondering which one might lend itself more to an eventual reconciliation: Being gone for good or being around here and bumping into each other occasionally. I was almost embarrassed by the thought of it, but hey, there is a Divorced But Not Done Forum, right? Go figure. So, after STBXW's horrendous "revelation" the other day, am I nuts" Normal? Optimistic? Or kidding myself?

I see "Normal" here, Gardner. You love her. You don't want to divorce her. But, but, but...considering her "horrendous" BS about you sexually abusing her...reconciliation MUST entail her winning you back. You have been dissed bigger than Dallas, my friend, and you are not going to be bellying up the bar for another shot of that. She will have to repair that breach of trust first.

It all got a bit complex, is all. But I know you get me, Gima.
And, speaking of which, I'd certainly like your take/advice on my post yesterday @11:45 pm. Specifically point#2. Thanks.
Damn, this was a challenging bit of quote/cut/paste post to put together! Phew!